Thursday, February 1, 2007

Who Will Tend the Flock

Well folks, it turns out that there are as many gay sheep (per-capita) as there are gay humans (sheep must like Sinatra too.)

When I first discovered this, my faith was a little shaken. I asked myself how this many sheep could choose to be gay. Since we all know that being gay is a choice to affront the will of God, and not part of the natural scheme of things, because to accept that being gay is natural would mean we would have to treat gay people like human beings, which is something that no real Christian could do.

So, I did like all good Christians and just ignored the fact that studies like these (and common sense) show that being gay is part of nature, and not some kind of evil way of life. Yes, my brethren I ignored the facts and reality and turned instead to the Bible, to find out who should help these poor lost sheep.

First I discovered that sheep have their own prayer. It's in Psalms, and I had heard it before, but never saw the context. It goes like this:
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

After seeing this I began to believe that God had a plan for these poor sheep.

Then I found the following:

I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.

As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep.

And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.

John 10: 14-16

There was my proof. Jesus was sent down here to help the sheep--not just the sheep that followed him, but also the sheep who didn't know him.

So, to whom may the sheep turn for help in knowing Jesus in our modern world? Well I found many churches that go by the name "The Good Shepherd", but it seems that all of them minister solely to humans, which seems to be an affront to God's will concerning sheep. So, my search continues.

Maybe someday I will find the Reverend Bo Peep, who will look after the souls of these poor creatures, and apply some form of the bullshit (oops. It slipped) commonly known as "ex-gay" to these poor creatures.

(And don't try to tell me that Bo Peep is a fictional character, because I think we all know that she is as real as Jesus.)

Until I find Reverend Bo Peep, I guess I will just have to live in a World based on reality, and not hatred and stupidity, and just accept these sheep for who they are instead of making up excuses to hate them.


Michelle said...

Rubbish, it's all the fault of modern society, evolution, feminism and all those other new fangled things that changed the world from being a place where everyone was godly and everything was always perfect all the time, to a world where even God's most faithful followers are corrupted by the dark side.

R Nicolas said...

Next thing you know, there will be hermaproditic deer in Florida.

The end is near. Repent and be forgiven. Or at least plan a good party.

R Nicolas said...

oops left an "h" out