Friday, February 2, 2007

Update on the End of the World

Yesterday I told you folks about Boston's near miss with a Moon invasion, and today I have some more disturbing news regarding our impending doom.

First of all it seems that the courts in Boston have let the agents of our destruction out of jail (I figured they would be in Guantanamo by now) at which point they began trying to brainwash the media into getting 70's style haircuts. It is obviously working, because none of the reporters is asking stupid questions like they normally do. They are instead standing around trying to keep their heads from exploding.

Here is a link to a news broadcast about these villains (just be aware of their evil brainwashing plot).

The most shocking part about this news clip is the assertion that no reasonable person could perceive these Lite-Brites as bombs. Come on people look at it:

Looks like a bomb to me. And, what's even scarier, is the fact that I have seen literally scores of devices in and around Indianapolis that look just as much (if not more) like bombs. Here is a stock photo of one of these devices:

See what I mean. Notice the similarities--they both have lights, and they are both hung at intersections. These damned terrorists are everywhere. The device pictured above is especially devious, because it somehow convinces people to stop their cars right in front of it. I now believe that the intent of this is to give a stationary target, so I haven't stopped for one all day.

Then after I arrived safely home from dodging these bombs, I discovered that I had been taking pictures of light bombs since at least last July.

Case in point: the pictures below.

The Capital The Other Pride March

The first one was taken here in Indianapolis, and clearly shows several globe shaped devices that I now believe to be bombs. I also saw a UFO that night, but was unable to get a clear picture.

The second photo was taken in NYC, and clearly shows one of the traffic halting devices as well as how the police just stand around like they are innocent devices, and not weapons of the Apocalypse. I saw Elvis standing under that light, but the march participants blocked my view before I could get a picture.

How could anyone in this post yesterday world ,with any common sense not see these things as bombs. President Bush has been trying to tell us for years that we are all in mortal danger, but people keep believing that he is merely keeping us scared shitless for political gain, and to further his goal to be Emperor. These are probably the same people don't believe the prophecies of L. Ron Hubbard.

Come to think of it this looks like a bomb:

And so does this:

That's it! I'm taking my shotgun, beer, and children and heading to the nearest bomb shelter. I'll see folks when this is over--if you're still here.


Michelle said...

How do you know that those bottles of beer aren't bombs? I mean, they do kind of look like them..

R Nicolas said...

I thought of that, which is why I plan on personally checking out the inside of every bottle of beer that I can lay my hands on.